I feel celebrity-like, more-so than I ever have done in my short life. It should feel weird, odd or hit a nerve, but instead it’s welcoming. I’m a pilgrim in a country still opening up to tourism. It feels like travel should. Neighbouring Thailand is indifferent to me, almost angry at my western ways. Myanmar instead opens its arms in a giant embrace.

The best kind of smile is real. Not the tip-laced service grin, nor the faux mock, but a loving open one only found in a place where consumerism hasn’t penetrated with its cold hands.

Big Smiles

Call Me Myanmar

Five days isn’t enough to experience the wonders of Burma (or as it likes to be called now, The Royal Kingdom of Myanmar). You can do what I did – Mandalay to Bagan and back to Mandalay – but you’ll feel upset on departure. Myanmar is still a country of shocking poverty while reeling from sudden open borders and a fading oppressive government.

It is a land of beauty, welcoming people, incredible sights and west-adverse tradition. Local attire is still worn, horses draw carts and everyone seems to know everyone, even in the large city of Mandalay. Dusty trials are only just being overcome by modern roads. Wild dogs roam the streets. It is dirty.

However, all this chaos combines in a whirlwind of incredible smells, sights and taste. At first you don’t know how to cope, but soon you relish the random power cuts, the incessant beeping of mopeds and the bartering for goods.

Loyal Subjects

It Began with Bagan

“Clip clop,” goes the rhythmic song of the horse. The ground is arid, the horizon littered with stupas of all sizes. The hot sun beams down, intermingling with the kicked up dust to create a hazy, Indiana Jones style scene.

“This is far from the hippie north of Thailand,” I think to myself. It is the first time I realise what Myanmar is about. Free from the dark shackles of anti-malaria medicine, I take in everything.

A country both reluctant to change and eager to modernise – there is a push-and-pull feeling almost materialising in the air. The guide is old-school, but he chatters on his phone on his break.

The Ancient City of Bagan is a must-see; one of the true wonders of the region. Flat plains give way to pyramids, temples and forts. It is a shadow of its former self, but what a shadow it is. The holy repetition stretches as far as the eye can see; sunset being the best time to take in the view.

Children hide behind their parents’ legs, peeking out to say some token words of English. Most wave from afar, some have cottoned on to what tourism means for them; money. They might sell postcards and tell you some history for a tip, but it’s done in a way that’s polite, hospitable and without any hint of a scam.

They’re just doing what the Burmese people know best to do – putting a smile on your face.

Mandalay, Myanmar

Long Bridges & Long Boats

45 minutes up, 45 minutes down goes the Mandalay Hill mantra as the steps continue upwards. I trudge through mini bazaars, past beverage sellers, around miniature Buddhas and eventually, to the top of the scenic point.

Steps, steps and more steps – that’s the rule of climbing the famous hill.

A camera fee of 500 Kyat greets my pilgrimage and I sneakily ignore it with my iPhone. Mandalay stretches far into the distance; its Palace ring road carves a perfect square out of the city.

The largest city in the north couldn’t be any further from the historical flatness of Bagan. Mandalay has sadly already begun its sprint into the modern era. Banks are beginning to allow foreign ATM cards, Internet is offered in upmarket hotels and restaurants, and the youth of the city are wearing trousers. Still, it feels completely different to the rest of the world.

Mandalay Streets

Around Mandalay

The scooters beep continuously, there are no street lights at night and aside from the main Palace road, the majority of roads are unkempt and wild. Aged men sit on corners chewing a tobacco substance which stains the road and their teeth red every time they spit.

Why do they do it? No-one knows. Everyone who’s asked says it’s a bad idea, yet still offers a token try. This is Burma, or Myanmar. It is a country of two halves. Even the world doesn’t know what it should be called. There are always two sides to a story and Myanmar has many faces.

The only consistent thing is that it’s wearing a smile.

I travelled to Myanmar for five days in February 2013. 

“Come, come,” he repeats, drawing me in with his sense of mystery. As I cross the foyer, the hazy sunlight gives way to a sudden dimness. Pots lie around the room; an old monk is hunched over his bowl of soup, slurping away without a care in the world.

As I look around, the little man’s vanished.

By The River

Wat Do You Mean?

Bangkok has a split personality. The first is tourism, sex-on-a-plate and westerners; the other – a bustling, vibrant metropolis shrouded in humidity and smog.

If you stick to the first, shame on you – not for your moralistic choices, but rather for what you’ll miss. Sure, see the magnificent Wat Pho, Grand Palace and Wat Arun; trounce up and down Khaosan Road, go see a fake floating market. Take in everything the postcards show and eat Pad Thai.

However, don’t complain about Bangkok being dirty, seedy or tacky. If you stay on the beaten track, what do you expect?

Up The Buddhist Stairs

All of a sudden he appears again, popping up from behind a passage. “Come, come, this way,” he chimes as he scurries up the stairs. He switches on a light and I’m confused.

Where’s this view? There’s not even a window. All there is are some small Buddha statues, some more pots (this time, antique) and a statue of a man behind a glass case.

Mr Monk points at a plaque on a wall, then points at the statue. He does it again and as I read it more carefully, I realise it’s not a statue. Its leathery texture is worn skin; this is a dead monk – his youthful face displayed behind in a photo.

The Dead Monk

Bangkok Has You

The embalmed monk is a suitable metaphor for Bangkok. With so much of Asia rushing to westernise with its fervent desire for consumerism, it’s changing at an astonishing pace.

However, walk around Bangkok’s streets, each with their own character, dodging traffic while munching on delicious meat on a stick costing pittance, and you’ll find yourself transported into a classic Asia.

Sure, it’s dirty, chaotic and at times, trying on your patience, but ultimately it’s a city that never sleeps, doesn’t conform to rules and certainly doesn’t care what happens to you. Its people might, but as a city – it’s fine being Bangkok.

Grabbing Destiny

The Hangover

The Hangover 2 has a lot to answer for. Yes, it’s a little bit dirty (in all senses of the word), but it’s not some grimy sex-fest full of violent monks, smoking monkeys and ladyboy strippers. All of those exist, but it’s a tiny part of Bangkok.

You can walk down any local street and it’ll have a theme. Lines of mechanics down one, another will be full of flower merchants; the next, items to burn at Buddhist temples – it’s hard to describe the joy of exploring the non-tourist part of Bangkok without an aim or time limit.

There is nowhere like it in the world and there are very few cities that can say such a thing. Give it more than two days and you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

I travelled to Bangkok for a week in January 2013.

Therefore, I thought it would be helpful to present a 2013 mini-guide dealing with the facts. My visa was organised on the December 18th 2012 with no problems whatsoever.

As there’s no definitive answer, I can’t and won’t provide advice about actual visa-on-arrival shenanigans. The facts are, if you have an onward or return flight and fall under one of the many visa exemption countries, you can arrive on the border, visit for 30 days and leave with no problems. Over there you’re able to extend your visa to the same 60 days I just organised.

Down an uninviting staircase of the London Thai embassy is the stuffy, tired visa processing office.

Thai Embassy, London

Getting Your Wings

The on-arrival process mentioned above is a proven, UN guaranteed fact. Where the cloudiness occurs is if you’re arriving without an onward flight. That’s not to say immigration or prior-to-flight-embankment staff will ask for evidence, but while extremely rare, it can happen.

If like me, you don’t want to risk being denied entry, the safest, cheapest and most efficient way is to apply for a standard tourist visa. This is cheaper than a throwaway Air Asia flight like many recommend, and it means you have guaranteed entry pre-organised.

Where The Thai Embassy Is

Visa Success

The London branch, the Royal Thai Embassy, is five minutes from South Kensington tube station. You take a ticket, sit down, go to ‘desk one’s’ attendant and pay your money.

When I was there, I didn’t get a single question about where I was going next, how long I was planning on visiting for or even what my name was. That’s not to say you won’t be asked, but out of the five people doing the same thing, all of us were seen in roughly two minutes.

If you prefer to be safe rather than sorry, going through the above offsets any chance of border complications, even if the majority of people say not to worry about it – it’s always better to have these things in order, and hopefully this article debunks some common myths about the Thai visa process in the UK.

The only thing left is to actually get to Thailand…

Over the years, the aptly nicknamed Tube has transformed from lumbering steam locomotives to electric cattle carriages. Classic wooden interiors gave way to stucco-style plastic sweatboxes.

Yet, for all its foibles where else in the world can you catch a train roughly every two minutes.

It’s an astonishing feat of engineering, gusto and patience. There is nothing quite like the Tube, from the people who ride it, to the trains which rumble along its platforms.

Iron Man Travelling On The Tube

Deep Underground

It’s provided refuge, warmth, death and tragedy, but no matter what happens on it, to it or in its labyrinth of tunnels, it’s a unique microcosm of humankind.

London is truly multicultural; perhaps the only city in the world that has grasped the concept so solidly and lovingly. Providing the world’s people a transport system so extensive is no mean task and to think, it began when mankind was still without electricity, computers, mechanical engineering or oil.

Could you imagine what people must have felt like when the Metropolitan Line rolled by for the first time? “There’s a train. Underground.” Those who ventured deep under London must have marvelled at the concept and wondered just what the future held.

Classic London Underground Wear

The Future Is Automated

Fast forward a century-and-a-half and the lifeblood of London ferries people to work at a rate of roughly 4 million people a day. Its rate of expansion gives no indication it’s going to slow down any time soon.

The result is an ‘only-on-the-Tube’ mentality found nowhere else in society. Many have poetically summarised the experience of a rush hour crush, and not the romantic kind.

Personal space is non-existent, decency is an alien term and patience is tried to mammoth lengths.

Pit-to-face throngs of people, never looking and never talking, line the lines. It’s the only transport system that completely debunks the car. You can get anywhere in London with the Tube (granted you stay north of the River Thames).

It’s a circulation system which looks complex to strangers, but to regulars is as warm as the musty air that ventilates its corridors.

London Love

Anyone who’s travelled on the Tube is part of a special club; if you commute on it, even more exclusive. It cannot be described, explained or revealed just what effect it has on this select group of people.

Put simply, it is a wonder of the modern world and it’s extremely sad that the world will unlikely see such innovation for many years to come.

All that’s left to say is Happy Birthday you rickety, loveable, disgustingly rude piece of epic crap. Here’s to another 150 years.

Taken with Instagram.

Lunigana means the moon and as night turns to morning, the majesty of the mountains is revealed.

‘A Short Adventure’ is definitely more accurate a description. Technology has made travel ridiculously accessible, so it’s both inspiring and exciting to read about an era where true exploration was still possible.

Set in Nuristan, the rugged region of Afghanistan, Newby and his companion Hugh Carless impulsively quit their jobs and with no mountaineering experience, set off to the inhospitable region to climb its peaks.

The Only Barren Shot I Have…

Health & Safety Be Damned

Newby was a free spirit, there’s no doubt about that. Aged just 36, his book first winds through Persia – a contrast to Europe if there ever was one. He then goes on to meet hilltop tribes; explore far flung desolate landscapes; and struggle to the top of life-threatening summits in the Hindu Kush.

It’s no easy read, stylistically or narratively. His description of Nuristan and the ordeals he went through transfer to the reader. You can’t help but feel exhausted as you read what he went through. Thanks to an adventurous spirit, we’re treated to a world far away from Wi-Fi enabled hostels and cheap beer.

It’s hard to say whether a trip like Newby’s is even possible in our modern world. Are there even tracks left which haven’t been beaten to death?

Barren America (Not Nuristan)

Travel Writing 101

A Short Walk in the Hindu Kush also offers a lot more than blind escapism. Any inspiring travel writer should read Newby’s work. The manner he describes a scene, local people and the emotions accompanying his journey are vivid and tangible.

It’s not the most entertaining of novels – after all, Newby’s trudge through the barren Middle East is plagued by illness, death near-misses, atrocious living conditions and enough setbacks to put you off ever leaving your house. Therefore it’s good to draw something educational from such dire proceedings.

His expression and descriptive power might have faded over the years, but it still offers a solid foundation how to write autobiographically about travelling.

Examining his choice of words is as important as the story he’s telling and few writers offer similar value.

Verdict

If you look past the mountain-climbing escapades and focus on the harsh, yet beautiful landscape Newby explored, A Short Walk in the Hindu Kush has a lot to offer the contemporary reader. The region is still, thanks to war, underdeveloped and under-travelled.

Newby and his friend were the first Europeans to visit in 50 years. There are very few places left in the world where that honour holds true. It’s rare to come across travel literature dealing with Afghanistan, let alone from a period in the 1950s when it was even more difficult to venture to. For that reason alone, it’s a great book.

Read it, absorb it and lose yourself to a land of mountain men.

Obviously everyone has their preference. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying the ‘fake’ version made popular in Chinatowns across the world. Anyone suggesting it’s not worthy food is kidding themselves. Food evolves with time and while they’re two contrasting cuisines, each is equally delicious.

If you’re ever in the City of London (the Square Mile / financial district of London) and peckish for the most popular of Asian foods, two choices deliver consistently excellent food, service and price.

I believe if you’re the only Westerner in a Chinese establishment, even in England, then you’re on the right track. Both Eat & Drink Chinese Restaurant and Sichuan Folk are examples of this rule.

Chinese Delicacies

The Western Chinese – Eat & Drink Chinese Restaurant

Discovering it was an accident. In fact, unless you know it’s there you could walk past the same doorway every day, never realising there’s a treasure trove of deliciousness waiting beyond the foyer.

Down a murky alleyway, a short distance from Liverpool Street station, lies Eat & Drink Chinese Restaurant; an unimposing, seemingly rundown restaurant with the most unimaginative name in catering.

Walking in the door, a giant pink fish greets you; next, the owner – a curt, yet welcoming man. Hurried to a table and left with a huge menu, everything on it (or at least the thirty dishes I’ve sampled) are fantastic in their own way.

What To Eat

The service is great – attentive, extremely quick and helpful with dish recommendations. There’s nothing particularly adventurous a la carte, but Eat & Drink Chinese Restaurant does a brilliant job at the staple dishes.

If there are two of you three dishes are enough, supported by a portion of egg-fried rice each. My personal recommendations include: 

The best thing about Eat & Drink Chinese Restaurant is the swiftness of the fresh, piping hot food. Neither is it particularly expensive. If you stick to the three dish sharing choice, you’re looking at £20 a head, including a drink.

Eat & Drink Chinese Restaurant

Eat & Drink – 11 Artillery Passage, London, E1 7LJ

The Chinese Chinese – Sichuan Folk

Sichuan Folk is found on an offshoot of the famous Brick Lane. Like the above, it’s equally unimposing. It’s fair to say it lacks any grandeur, instead preferring to let the food do the talking.

I can safely say Sichuan Folk is one of the best service-centric places I’ve experienced in London. Look for the owner, a glasses-wearing man with a killer sense of humour. If he’s not your waiter, ask for him. I’ve been multiple times now and every time I’ve asked him what to recommend.

We always joke I should write down what I order, but I trust him to come up with a carefully thought out spread. Sichuan food is all about spicy meets cool; a careful blending of flavours, heat and textures delivered across the entire meal.

Courtesy of Sichuan Folk

It’s as authentic as they come – pigs trotters, twice cooked pork (definitely order it), odd fungi and Chinese deserts. The prawns – God, the prawns! Have the prawns. They’re some of the best I’ve in the UK, if not the best.

Everything’s cooked to perfection and while more expensive that Eat & Drink Chinese Restaurant, Sichuan Folk is worth every penny. It’s not outlandishly priced, but nor should you expect fine dining.

Sichuan Folk, London

Sichuan Folk, Hanbury Street, London, E1 6QR

Feel free to share your own favourite Chinese restaurants in the comments below.

As was evident in the odd-ball series, Palin was never one to shy away from making a fool of himself. His enthusiastic, if a little awkward, passion for experiencing new things comes across well in his latest escape into South America.

Spread across four parts, Palin treks through Northern Brazil, meanders through Amazonia, drops down to Rio and ends his trip at the bottom, a little worse for wear but supremely content. During his travels he meets, as you’d expect from an armchair traveller series, a broad range of locals, all interviewed via his toffish but loveable manner.

Brazil by Mikko Lautamäki

A Modern Brazil

My personal favourite was episode 3. Set mostly in Rio, Palin wanders across the city, taking time to interview the great-granddaughter of the man responsible for overseeing the construction of the city’s iconic sculpture. He also apprehensively enters the favelas to talk to those trying to change the fate of residents before dropping into a love hotel.

The sexual theme continues with a transsexual woman championing against homophobia. It showed just what an eclectic mix of people inhabit Brazil’s most famous city.

In contrast, episode 2 felt rushed and despite its interesting subject matter, underwhelming. Among the remote indigenous tribes, Palin should have been in his element. Instead it’s just an hour of him sitting awkwardly, listening to locals speak in traditional tongues as he nods along appraisingly.

Verdict

Like with real travel, the secret to success is the people rather than the places themselves. Brazil with Michael Palin captures this with its intimate look at the personalities forging the future of the next Olympics holder. Supported by a wonderful soundtrack and some gorgeous cinematography, it’s a good introduction to Brazil and worth it if you’re a fan of Palin.

If slightly uncomfortable, inquisitive British men questioning people in exotic countries is your thing, check out the series.

Brazil with Michael Palin aired in November 2012 on BBC1. It’s available on DVD from all major retailers. Image courtesy of Mikko Lautamaki.

The app offers four languages to learn, which like recent Languages, favour the popular European tongues. There’s French, German, Spanish and surprisingly, Portuguese. At the moment there’s no Italian, but it shouldn’t be long before the Latin full house is dealt.

To keep you on track, Duolingo focuses on ease rather than pace. Everyone learns at different speeds and thankfully the app accommodates this. There’s no rushing through lessons, which start with the upmost basic vocabulary and utilise a variety of memory, visual and audio techniques to help you learn.

However, the best thing about Duolingo is that it’s fun.

Speaking On the Same Page

At the best of times, learning can try your patience. It’s good to see Duolingo focus heavily on rewarding users with visual and audio gaming cues that push the learner’s progress forward. The design is its standout feature. Somehow it makes learning a language feel completely fresh rather than a trudge reminiscent of school.

The only area is struggles with is speaking. Every online language service has this problem and it’s one that’s realistically unsolvable. Nothing will ever beat the benefits of conversing with a native speaker and while the app’s audio recordings help with pronunciation, conversational learning is always going to be lacking.

Learning a new language is culturally, mentally and socially one of the most rewarding things you can do.

That said, Duolingo acknowledges its main flaw and makes up for it with a solid, user friendly experience in every other department. There are elements of the full online service missing (like social aspects) and you do need an internet connection for it to work, but overall it’s the same as the browser equivalent.

Verdict

If you’re starting out with a new language or just enjoy bettering your linguistic palate, Duolingo is a wonderful package. It might start slow, but it’s one of the best language apps on the market, made even better by the supporting online version.

A competent language teacher in your pocket at all times – who can complain at that?

Version 1.02 was reviewed. In version 1.1 released the 7th January 2012, Italian was included.